Forgive me

Forgive me if the words I've written are those you don't want to hear, forgive me I did not say them, I could not say them anymore. We were talking about our innocent beginnings and the unexpected turn of events that finally brought us together to where we are right now. Life is indeed a mystery and no matter how things seem to remain as they ought to be, the mind is always restless, seeking deeper meanings and significance not only from experiences but also from the positionalities of the actors themselves. For some reason not brought upon (un)intentionally by anyone, the person will find himself misplaced or at least, realizes that he should move on somewhere else. Perhaps that's the reason why I cannot say them anymore, the things you want to hear - the things you will want to hear. I am at the crossroads at this moment and I seem to be heading to the other direction - where you and I have a different meaning and of different significance to one another. Forgive me for my words remain at best, vague, but surely you know what I'm talking about - you are still speaking the language while I gradually lose the ability to do so. But you must know, I have always done my best to (re)learn it, even if most of the time the words I utter in our own language are becoming foreign to me. I always believed, that just like our spoken language, one has to speak ours regularly, to learn more of it and hence get used to using it. But the language of the heart is of a different composition. But it does not simply build up for regularity and coherent integration, not simply on the cognitive level, rather, it arises from the depths of the soul. And if the soul feels that it should learn from other realms, dimensions or other worlds, then it should move to wherever man believes would bring him to his further becoming. I am at that stage right now. I want to explore the other worlds I have yet to know, and regretfully, I cannot take you with me - at least in the language we used to speak.